ThursdayMan | el hombre del jueves

ThursdayMan’s Polar Bear Post Gets the Most Hits! | James Pat Guerréro

Posted in Short Story by James Pat Guerréro on 03/21/2012

ThursdayMan’s blog gets the most hits on polar bears – every day! One can be humourous (‘humorous’ spelling not preferred) once in a while. For instance, ThursdayMan shall think like a polar bear. Leisure at the height of the ThursdayMan’s existence: it doesn’t get better than this. Well, here goes!

Scene:) Somewhere in the middle of the arctic, flat ice and icebergs all around. Not much tundra (tundra is a fancy word for mossy leafy life:)

Polar Bear (thinking?:)

Boy, I’m tired … and .. alone. Ms. Polar Bear left about six months ago with the cubs. Sh** ! Now I have nobody.

FISHing, gotta find FISH. I’m gonna die before fish die in my mouth, if I don’t find fish. Fishes, lovely, tasty, exquisite fish between my lips, ground and juicy, bloody – oh so lovely and fine for ME.

Oh! Oh! Here’s a soft spot in the ice. Feel it. My FISH, it’s – it’s a little thick, though. Jump on it, hard. Jump again, jump up higher, JUMP UP HIGHER. It’s just too thick. Look at ALL those fish swimming in there. Golly, so depressing. Stomach says don’t stop fishing. Stomach says to move on and keep searching.

Move where? To the icebergs? No fish there. Yeah, stay on the flat ice – seeing fishes right here below. Okay, finding a soft spot. Maddening – just one fish would be quite kind to a single polar bear. Single with a singularly devoured fish. Nothing more – at least for this instant. Let the next instant worry about the next instant.

What are those animals over there? They’re moving toward me. RUN! No, wait. I smell fish. They’re holding FISH – lot’s of fishy odor. What are they? One is carrying a long pointy object. Long fish, maybe. One is pointing the long pointy object at me. Ugh! That hurt! Ohhh, I’m falling asleep, asleep …

Boy, I’m so dizzy. Wow! Look at all the FISH! Where am I? Somewhere very different. What does Z-O-O spell?

Forget It. Ohh, so lovely fishes!

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